Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
by NinjaBoyTellEm
Summary: Finally...The X...has come back...WITH A NEW CHAPTER. Based off the popular game show with a Tekken twist.
1. Xiaoyu, Jin, Lee, and Kazuya

Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken

Disclaimer: I do not own Tekken at all, ok?

Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?: Tekken Style

X Factor: Hello, and Welcome to 'Who Wants To Be A Millionare'. I'm your host, The X Factor 92, and do we have a show for you. All the way from Yakushima, Japan, the protagonist of Tekken, Jin Kazama!

(Crowd cheers loudly)

X Factor: From China, Ling Xiaoyu

(More cheers)

X Factor: From Japan, the adopted son of Heihachi Mishima, Lee Chaolan

(Crowd cheers)

X Factor: And last but not least, Kazuya Mishima

(Crowd goes nuts for Kazuya)

X Factor: Jin, You won the fastest finger question, so come on up!

Jin: Thanks for having me.

X Factor: No prob. Now, are you ready for the first question for 100 dollars? (Jin nods.) Then let's play, Who Wants To Be a Millionaire! Here's the first question.

(Music Plays)

X Factor: In the fairy tale, 'Sleeping Beauty', on which birthday did Princess Arora prick her finger? Is it…

A) Tenth?

B) Twenty-first?

C) Toast?

D) Sixteenth?

X Factor: Remember you have three life lines at your disposal.

Jin: Um... Oh this is hard. I'll go with... E. None of the above.

X Factor: That's not even an option! Please pick either A, B, C, or D!

Jin: The answer's F?

X Factor: No!

Jin: O? Is that even an option?

X Factor: (Slaps forehead, and lets out a long sigh) Jin, either choose A, B, C, or D. There are no other choices.

Jin: Ok, I choose C. Final answer.

X Factor: C? C?! Are you _that_ stupid?! I'm sorry, the answer's D, sixteen, not Toast! Get out of here!

Jin: When do I get my million dollars?

X Factor: Never! You lost!

Jin: But that was a hard question! I demand a recount!

X Factor: Security, get this dumbass out of my sight.

(Security comes and drags him off)

X Factor: Ok, the next one who got the second fastest time on the fastest finger question is Xiaoyu. Come on up!

Xiaoyu: All right, I'm ready. Let's begin.

X Factor: Yes, lets. Here's the question for 100 dollars. Which of the following was NOT a boss character in Tekken?

A) Heihachi Mishima

B) Kazuya Mishima

C) Devil

D) Jinpachi Mishima

Xiaoyu: I'm pretty sure the answer's B, Kazuya, final answer.

X Factor: Finally! Correct. Here's the next question for 500 dollars. Which ones of these characters allegedly killed Jun Kazama?

A) Ogre

B) Bryan Fury

C) Lei Wulong

D) Mokujin

Xiaoyu: Well, since I don't know about what actually happened then, I'm going to use one of my life lines.

X Factor: Alright, which one? You have: Ask the Audience, Ask a friend, or 50/50.

Xiaoyu: All take Ask a friend. My friend I'd like to ask is Jin, because he knows who killed her?

X Factor: Jin? You want to ask that dumb fuck? He couldn't even get pass the first question! Whatever. It's your money.

Xiaoyu: Ok, Jin, who killed your…

Jin: The answer is TOAST! Trust me!

Xiaoyu: I don't think that's an…

Jin: Xiaoyu, listen to me. It's toast. It's gotta be.

Kazuya: Are you going to listen to this dumbass son of mine?! It's completely obvious he's DRUNK!

Jin: (Stands up, and faces Lee...er, Kazuya) Yeah? So what? (Hiccups) So I'm drunk, what of it bitch?

Xiaoyu, Lee, X Factor: (Sweatdrop, majorly)

Xiaoyu: Alright, I'm not going to listen to him. I'll say... A. Final answer.

X Factor: Correct! For one thousand dollars, are you ready?

Xiaoyu: Yes, let's begin.

X Factor: Which one of these characters has been in every Tekken game?

A) Jun Kazama

B) Nina Williams

C) Anna Williams

D) Marshall Law

Xiaoyu: I believe it's B. (Pauses) Yes, it's B, final answer.

X Factor: Correct!

(End of game sound goes off)

X Factor: Well, that's the end of our game, Xiaoyu will be back next time to try and win the Million dollars, and we'll have three new contestants, too! See you tomorrow!


	2. They get stupider

Disclaimer: So don't own Tekken

_Who Wants to be a Millionaire _(Chapter 2)

The camera zooms in on the stage where The X Factor is sitting with the hot seat across from him. Then, Ling Xiaoyu enters the stage and takes her place in the hot seat (remember that she is still in the game from the last chapter).

X Factor: Welcome fellow readers to another episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I'm here with possibly the most annoying character in the whole Tekken series, Ling Xiaoyu.

Xiaoyu: Hey!

X Factor: You are. Even though I'm a fan of yours, you are annoying.

Xiaoyu (in Chinese): Fuck you!

X Factor: Let's play, Who Wants to be a Millionaire!

The start music play and the lights go dark.

Xiaoyu (trembling): Stop! Wait!

X Factor: What is it?!

Xiaoyu: I'm afraid of the dark!

X Factor: Oh give me a break! You're 18 and afraid of the dark, wtf?!

Xiaoyu: Don't insult me or I'll stop playing!

X Factor: What ever helps you sleep at night, kid. One moment please.

He leaves and comes back but he is wearing a Boogeyman costume and is behind Xiaoyu. He taps her shoulder and she turns around and…

X Factor: BOO!!

Xiaoyu screams and runs off stage. The X Factor laughs so hard that he can't breathe.

X Factor (still laughing): Okay! With her out of the way, let's move on to the fastest finger question and let's introduce our new contestants and our old ones…Bryan Fury, Marshall Law, Asuka Kazama, Eddy Gordo, Christie Montiero, Kazuya Mishima, and Lee Chaolan.

(Crowd cheers and claps)

X Factor: Okay let's get on with the question…Put these movies in order based on the year released starting with the earliest.

A) Tekken: The Motion Picture

B) Spiderman 3

C) Mortal Kombat

D) Boys Don't Cry

_Correct Order: C, A, D, B_

X Factor: Okay, time's up. Let's see who got the fastest time…and it seems Marshall Law had the fastest time with 9.56 seconds.

Marshall takes his seat in the hot seat.

X Factor: Law, welcome to the game. What are you going to do with the money that you may win today?

Law: I'll use it to get my son out of the hospital.

X Factor: Alright. Let's play!

Music plays and lights dim.

X Factor: Law for 100 dollars, what game did Jin Kazama make his debut in?

A) Tekken 6

B) Tekken 2

C) Tekken 3

D) Tekken 4

Law: C, final answer.

X Factor: Correct! For 300 dollars, in Tekken 4, Jin wanted to kill his father, grandfather, and then who…

A) Ling Xiaoyu

B) Himself

C) Paul Phoenix

D) Combot

Law: B, and that's my final answer.

X Factor: Correct for 300! Going for 500, Asuka Kazama punched the shit out of Jin for doing what during Tekken 5?

A) Falling on her chest

B) Beating Jinpachi Mishima

C) Eating toast

D) Smoking weed

Law: I'm not sure on this one. I'll use one of my life lines.

X Factor: What?! Are you serious?! That was a Kodak moment for Christ sake. Kazuya has it on his video phone. Kazuya!

Kazuya pulls out his video phone and plays the video, but it only shows Jin being punched.

X Factor: That's not the whole video. Bastard!

Kazuya: I like to see my son in pain whenever possible.

X Factor: Is that your Viagra or something?

Kazuya:…No

X Factor looks at him funny and disregards him.

Law: I'd like to ask the audience.

X Factor: Okay audience, Law needs your help. Help him by picking the right answer. Use your pads and select A, B, C, or D. Vote now!

5 seconds pass. 100 of the audience selects A.

X Factor: Well…

Law: I'll pick D. Final answer.

X Factor: WTF?! That's incorrect, old dumb motherfucker.

Law: Where's my money?

X Factor: You don't get any! You lost, asshole. Are there any ticks sucking the blood away from your old ass brain?

Law isn't responding and has a Festus-like look on his face.

X Factor: They don't pay me enough for this job. Security, get him out of here and hook up to a brain gain helmet.

A bell goes off and Law goes berserk. Law starts kicking ass on anyone he sees. Security goes flying through the crowd. The tekken fighters intervene but end up getting their asses kicked. He targets the X Factor and runs after him, and The X Factor gets into a fighting stance.

X Factor: Join us next time for another episode, if I'm not dead by then.

(Fades to black)

To the readers: Send in questions for me to use on the show, ok? Review as well. Later!


	3. And crazier

Disclaimer: So don't own Tekken.

_Who Wants to be a Millionaire _(Chapter 3)

The camera zooms in on the stage where The X Factor is standing with the hot seat and his seat behind him. He prepares to be bombarded with more idiots today. He turns to the camera and says…

X Factor: Welcome to another episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Last time, chaos ensues as Law nearly killed me and most of the audience.

Camera goes around the audience with many people in bandages and slings.

X Factor: Anyways, let's move on to the contestants we have today. Today we have Yoshimitsu.

The people go wild for him.

X Factor: Nina Williams

The men whistle and give catcalls to her. She just sits and sneers at them (you know she hates men, right?).

X Factor: Steve Fox

The ladies scream for Steve.

X Factor: Bruce Irvin and Ganryu

The crowd cheers for them.

X Factor: Now to the fastest finger question: Put these characters in the order from their debut in Tekken starting with the earliest character to the latest.

A) Heihachi Mishima

B) Julia Chang

C) Michelle Chang

D) Christie Montiero

_Correct Order: A, C, B, D_

X Factor: Time's up. Now let's see who had the fastest time…and it appears that Nina had the fastest time with 3 seconds flat…impressive…come on up to the stage Nina.

Nina goes on stage with the men still whistling at her.

Nina: Ugh, men, I hate them so much.

X Factor: I find that offensive.

Nina ignores him.

X Factor: Alright bitch, let's get on with the game.

Music plays and the lights go dark.

X Factor: Nina, for 100 dollars: How old was Wang Jinrei in Tekken 5?

A) 30

B) 105

C) 200

D) 95

Nina: B, final answer.

X Factor: got it for 100 dollars. For 300 dollars: What is the relation between Jinrei and Jinpachi Mishima?

A) They are best friends

B) They are brothers

C) They are married to one another

D) They are father and son

Nina is about to vomit after hearing the C answer. She regains composure and answers…

Nina: C, final answer.

X Factor (laughing): Gotcha, that's incorrect, what kind of fantasies do you have at night. Damn, you watch that grandpa porn. Anna, your sister has problems, damn.

Anna: Why do you think I hate her?

X Factor: Security, get her out of here and put her in an asylum until she gets that fantasy out of her head.

Security drags her out of the building.

X Factor: Four of you are left now. The fastest finger question is: Put these rap albums released by Jay-Z starting the earliest released.

A) American Gangster

B) Reasonable Doubt

C) The Blueprint

D) The Black Album

_Correct order: B, C, D, A_

X Factor: Time's up, and it seems Steve Fox had the fastest time of 2.58 seconds…wow…come to the stage Steve.

Steve goes to the stage.

X Factor: Strange, I didn't know you were into rap music.

Steve: Yeah, I'm a big fan of Jay-Z. I have all his albums at home.

X Factor: Impressive. Let's play and don't screw up like your mom.

Music plays and lights go dark.

X Factor: Now for 100 dollars: Who won the battle between the Williams sisters in the 5th king of iron fist tournament?

A) Anna

B) Neither ( it was a draw)

C) Nina

D) They never fought each other there

Steve: I'm pretty sure mum won so I'll say C.

X Factor: Final answer?

Steve: Yes.

X Factor: Correct. Going for 300 dollars: What is Julia Chang's job

A) Doctor

B) Teacher

C) PC programmer

D) Archaeologist

Steve: D, final answer

X Factor: Correct

Steve: You forgot to say that she's a tree hugger.

X Factor: Oooh, burn. Knuckle touch.

They touch knuckles.

X Factor: Hey don't say that on TV. Julia might protest outside my studio.

Steve: And make us wear "Go Green" T-Shirts.

They start laughing so hard they fall out of their seats. Julia is watching at her home.

Julia (has an ax in her hand): I'm going to kill them.

_Back at the Studio (Steve has progressed and is going for 4,000 dollars)_

X Factor: Correct for 2,000 dollars. Oh, I happen to be a fan of Julia as well as yours.

Steve: Thanks, guv.

X Factor: Going for 4,000 dollars: As of Tekken 6, Jin Kazama and Kazuya Mishima are rivals over what?

A) Their cooking

B) World domination

C) Video Games

D) Sports

Steve: I know that it's B, final answer.

X Factor: Correct for 4,000 dollars. For 8,000 dollars but first, Steve please keep in mind you are guaranteed to leave here with at least 1,000 dollars.

Just then, Julia comes in, seething and holding an ax, going after The X Factor and Steve.

Julia: I'm gonna kill you motherfuckers.

Steve hits her with a left hook.

Steve: Run! The bitch is crazy!

The X Factor and Steve run for it.

X Factor: Join us next time as Steve goes for 8,000 dollars. He is the only one that has gone this far. Pray that he and I live.

Julia barely misses The X Factor with a chop of her ax.

X Factor: Review as well please and send in questions as well and vote between these eight characters listed below to see who should appear next. SOMEONE HELP ME!!

The characters are: Baek Doo San, Hwoarang, Michelle Chang, Jun Kazama, Heihachi Mishima, King II, Kunimitsu, and Julia Chang


	4. Oh No, Not an Infomercial

_Disclaimer: Don't own Tekken at all._

_Chapter 4: Oh No, Not an Infomercial_

The camera zooms into the arena and onto the stage where The X Factor and Steve Fox are. The two seems to be fine after the ordeal with Julia, so they came back to the studio after escaping her wrath.

X Factor: What up, my peeps? Welcome to another episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I abandoned the voting idea because no one voted or sent me questions for that matter. Anyway, I'm here with Steve Fox, and he is the only contestant to come this far in the game. Alright Steve, are you ready to try to win 8,000 dollars?

Steve: Hell yeah I am, guv. Let's do it.

The music plays and the lights dim. After that, the power goes off as well.

X Factor: What, what's going on?

The lights come back on.

X Factor: The hell was that for?

His broadcast is shut off and some sort of program is put in its place. It appears to be an infomercial.

_The camera zooms around the room of a house. It seems to be the Kazama-Mishima residence. The camera focuses on one called Kazuya Mishima. On the table in front of him, it appears to be some sort of a popcorn maker._

Kazuya: Hey folks, Kazuya Mishima here with the Quick Pop Popcorn Popper.

_Jin, who happened to be sitting on the couch with his friends, gets up and approaches his dad._

Jin: Hey dad, how does it work?

Kazuya: It's simple, boy. You just plug it in.

He plugs it in.

Kazuya: Open the butter packet.

He tries to open it but has problems. He laughs nervously to the camera.

Kazuya: Hey guys sorry about that. I just couldn't get it open, you know?

_Take 2._

Kazuya: Hey folks Kazuya Mishima here with the Quick Pop Popcorn Popper.

_Jin approaches his dad from the couch._

Jin: Hey Dad, how does it work?

Kazuya: It's simple boy, you just plug it in.

He plugs it in again.

Kazuya: Open the butter packet.

Kazuya tries and fails again. He mutters swear words under his breath.

Kazuya: You know when I do a trailer for a new Tekken game, all I had to do was look good and kick people's asses. I never had to open a butter packet.

_Take 3 (Kazuya is still having trouble)._

Kazuya: Fucking butter packet. Is this vacuum sealed or what?

He is struggling to get it open with his fingers.

Kazuya: This is fucking bullshit.

He gnaws at it with his teeth, trying to tear it and fails. He's pissed now.

Kazuya: AARGHH!!

He slams the packet on the ground.

_Take 4._

Kazuya: It's simple boy, you just plug it in.

He plugs it in, but he starts to get electrocuted, at least his arm is. Kazuya is screaming in pain as his arm is flash fried. His arm is covered in black spots and dried blood.

Kazuya: I can smell my arm flesh cooking. IT'S LIKE I'VE BEEN NAPALMED!! AARRGH!!

Jin: Put some butter on it.

Kazuya: I can't put some butter on. I can't get the butter packet open. ASSWIPE!!

He throws the packet at Jin and hits him with a left hook (his right arm get fried).

_Take 5._

Kazuya: Let's finish this goddamn commercial. If I find out who's responsible for booking me on this, I'M GONNA KICK 'EM IN THE ASS!!

He turns to the camera.

Kazuya: Hey folks, Kazuya Mishima here with the Quick Pop Popcorn Popper. It's simple, boy.

Jin: I didn't say it y—

Kazuya: GO FUCK YOURSELF!!

_Take 5._

Jin: Hey Dad, how does it work?

Kazuya: It's simple boy, you just plug it in.

He hands the plug to Jin.

Kazuya: Go ahead, plug it in.

Jin plugs it in. The two flinch in case of any shock therapy that could be given out.

Kazuya: Open the butter packet

Jin rips it open. Kazuya is irritated.

Kazuya: Pour it in.

Jin does so and closes the lid to it.

Kazuya: And in ten seconds, you have enough popcorn for the whole game. HehHeh!

Kazuya goes in to get a whiff of it.

Kazuya: It smells so good.

He opens the hatchet at the top of the lid and gets he face attacked with steam.

Kazuya: AARRGH!! It's melting!!

He turns to Jin and his friends, who are laughing hard as hell.

Kazuya: What's so funny guys? Huh? You want a face full of hot buttery popcorn? Is that what you want?

Kazuya tries to lift the machine up, but the handles are hot.

Kazuya: AARRRGH!! SHIT!!

_It cuts off. Apparently, The X Factor and Steve have re wired the camera and audio._

X Factor: Who the fuck put an infomercial in place of my show?

Julia comes out to the stage with tools and such.

X Factor: YOU!!

Julia: That's right, that's what you get for making fun of me.

Steve: I'm gonna bust a cap in yo ass, bitch.

X Factor: Don't ever say that again.

Steve: Chill homie. Take this.

He gives The X Factor an AK-47. Steve has an Uzi of his own.

Steve: KILL THE HOE!!

They give chase while Julia screams and runs for her life. The two shoot at her and keep missing by inches.

X Factor: Join us next time as Steve will go for 8,000 dollars. Send questions that I could ask him. DIE YOU TREE HUGGING BITCH!!

(Fades to Black)


	5. We are back

Disclaimer: Any characters that appear in this fic are owned by Namco. The X Factor is of my ownership because that's me.

_We are Back (finally)_

The camera zooms in on the stage where The X Factor and Steve are. The two are dead exhausted after trying to kill Julia. In the end, they never did because they ran out of ammo and gave up on reloading.

X Factor: Why didn't bring more ammo?

Steve: Sorry, guv. Mum cut me off again.

X Factor: Again? What happened this time?

Steve: I gave her number out to random guys. They kept calling her at different hours of the day. She found out and took my AK-47 and bullets.

Steve has a sad look on his face.

X Factor: If you're done wallowing, let's get back to the game.

Music starts to play and the lights go off.

X Factor: Alright Steve for 8,000 dollars, who won the fight between Yoshimitsu and Bryan Fury in Tekken 5?

A) Bryan

B) Yoshimitsu

C) Yoshimitsu withdrew (no contest)

D) They did not fight each other

Steve: I think that it was C, final answer.

X Factor: Got it for 8,000. Alright, here's another milestone question, for 16,000 dollars, At the end of the tournament, what did you (Steve Fox) do to the Mishima Zaibatsu lab?

A) Destroy it, then blow it up

B) Sell it

C) Nothing

D) Buy it

Steve: Okay this is tough, I think I'm going to use a life line.

X Factor: Oh come on, man you were the perpetrator, you should know what you did.

Steve: I want to use a lifeline anyway

X Factor: UGH! Whatever, man. You're playing, I'm not.

Steve: I'd like to use the 50/50 line

X Factor: Ai Ya, computer take away two of the answers, leaving one wrong answer and the correct one.

_The answers B and D have been eliminated_

X Factor: There you have it Steve, which one is it A or C?

Steve: Uh, I still dont know.

X Factor: JUST PICK ONE BEFORE I RIP YOUR ARMS OFF AND BEAT YOU WITH THEM!!

Steve (trembling): Okay Okay, I think it's C.

X Factor: Motherfucker, It was A. I going to kill you!!

The X Factor jumps on Steve and proceeds to choke him. He then uses Paul Phoenix's Ultimate Punishment attack on Steve.

_The screen then shows 'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by.'_

_Three days later_

X Factor: After serving an overnighter sentence in jail, doing 50 hours of community service, and paying Steve's medical bills, I am back. Oh by the way I used Steve's prize money for it. HehHeh! What a sucker!

Kazuya: Can we get on with the game?!

X Facter: Will do...in the next chapter though, I've run out of time today. See you later readers.

**Cliffhangers, I hate them. I used one anyway at Getemono's expense, hopefully. I decided to put Kazuya in the hot seat to try to get people to read the next chapter after this one. Send in questions too, I'm running out of them. Later!**


	6. Kazuya Returns Part I

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything Tekken, except for the copies of T4, TTT, T5 and the arcade versions of T1, T2, and T3_

_Chapter 6: Kazuya Returns_

The camera zooms in onto the stage. The X Factor is standing on the stage instead of sitting in his chair. He has a smile on his face.

X Factor: Hello, my loyal readers. Welcome to another episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire.

Audience Member: Why did you wait so long to update?

X Factor: Give me a break! I had a life to live! Now sit down before I have you lynched.

The audience member sits down, frightened.

X Factor: As I was trying to say before, please welcome my co-host Kunimitsu.

_The crowd respectfully cheers in approval. Kunimitsu enters wearing an alternate outfit from Tekken 2._

X Factor: Welcome, Kunimitsu

Kunimitsu: Thank you.

X Factor: Computer, please provide an extra seat for Miss Kunimitsu to sit in.

_Out comes a large golden chair instead of the usual seat provided._

X Factor: Computer, what the hell?!

Computer: I like her more than you already.

X Factor: Fuck you, asshole. Without further ado, please welcome Kazuya Mishima.

_The crowd goes absolutely nuts for Kazuya. Kazuya enters wearing his trademark purple suit._

Crowd: KAZUYA! KAZUYA!! KAZUYA!!

_Kazuya smiles arrogantly and takes his seat_

X Factor: Welcome, dude!!

Kazuya: Good to be here!!

Fan Girl: I LOVE YOU KAZUYA!!

Kazuya: I love you too!

X Factor: Okay, let's begin!

_Music plays and the lights go dark_

Kunimitsu: Kazuya, for 100 dollars, who is the youngest fighter to ever win a tournament

A) Jin Kazama

B) Heihachi Mishima

C) Steve Fox

D) Ling Xiaoyu

Kazuya: I hate to say it, but it is in fact A

Kunimitsu: Final answer?

Kazuya: No shit, bitch!

Kunimitsu: Correct. For 300 dollars, after the explosion in Honmaru, how long was Heihachi unconscious?

A) 2 weeks

B) 10 weeks

C) 4 weeks

D) 8 weeks

Kazuya: Don't know, don't care, but I'll say D final answer.

X Factor: Correct, for 500 dollars, Which one of these characters is NOT an animal (or monster)?

A) True Ogre

B) Alex

C) Kunimitsu

D) Ogre

Kazuya: What the fuck?! All of those are animals and/or monsters.

X Factor: Nope, one isn't.

Kazuya: Whatever, I'll use a lifeline.

X Factor: All of you Mishimas are the same, just plain stupid.

Jin (in the audience): I find that offensive, you ass.

X Factor: Up yours, fruitcake.

_Kazuya laughs._

Kazuya: I'll call Ogre.

X Factor: Your money not mine.

_Kazuya takes out his Samsung Instinct and dials Ogre's number. Ogre answers_

Ogre: What's up dawg?

Kazuya: Homie, I need the answer to this question: Which of these characters is not an animal and /or monsters: True Ogre, Alex, Kunimitsu, or you (Ogre)

Ogre: ALL OF THOSE ARE ANIMALS AND MONSTERS!!

Kazuya: That's what I said. Thanks anyway.

Ogre: When are you gonna come over so we can smoke weed?

Kazuya: Tomorrow. Later, dawg.

_They hang up._

Kunimitsu: BITCH, CHOOSE AN ANSWER OR I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT!!

Kazuya: Give me the 50/50 first.

_Kunimitsu sighs, then groans._

Kunimitsu: Computer, take away two wrong answers before I kill this walking grape.

_The answers A and D have been eliminated_

Kazuya: Alright, I will go out on a limb and say C, final answer.

X Factor and Kunimitsu: Finally!! Correct.

Kazuya: I still think you're an animal.

Kunimitsu: AAARRGGH!! I am not an animal!! Do I have to prove it to you?

_Kunimitsu takes her fox mask off, revealing her face. She also unties her red hair that happens to go five inches past her shoulders. She has a very beautiful face, with no need of makeup that is complimented with her crystal blue eyes and a perfect set of lips. Kazuya and The X Factor stare in awe obviously frozen by her beauty._

Kazuya: Wow…you're hot.

X Factor: Yes she is.

_Kunimitsu blushes at their comments._

X Factor: How…how old are you?

Kunimitsu: Never ask a woman her age. If you must know, I'm 41.

Kazuya: I would leave Jun for her any day.

Jun (also in the audience, fuming): I gonna kill you when you get home Kazuya!

Kazuya: Don't care.

X Factor: Back to the game, for 1,000 dollars: Who does Christie Montiero share her height and weight with?

A) Nina Williams

B) Kunimitsu

C) Julia Chang

D) Ling Xiaoyu

Kazuya: Xiaoyu is a definite no; she's half of me and the fruitcake.

Jin (in the audience): I'm not a fruitcake

Kunimitsu: Jin's right. He's not a fruit cake. He's a momma's boy.

_The audience, The X Factor, and Kazuya start to laugh._

X Factor: Wow, she's hot and funny. High five.

_Kazuya and The X Factor high five. Jin starts to cut his wrists._

Kazuya: It's B final answer.

X Factor: Got it.

_End of game sound goes off._

X Factor: Oh no, we ran out of time. Join us next time people since there will be another host while I am in school next week.

Kunimitsu: Bye

_She blows kisses to the crowd and readers._

**End of Chapter 6. I need a new host for a while because I have school next Tuesday. cries Anyway, read and review and suggest to me who should be the host. **

**P.S. I'm sorry if I offend any Jin fans. Jin is my favorite character, but he tends to be the butt of my jokes and comedy. Why are protagonists the butt of everyone's jokes? I don't know.**

**Shout out to PurpleCobra247 for her suggestions. Shout out to Getemono for being a W.O.G. and for being one of my greatest friends on Myspace.**

**M.O.G. out!!**


	7. We Are Back! Kazuya Returns Part II

**Disclaimer: Don't own Tekken and blah, blah, blah.**

Chapter 7: We Are Back

_The lights come on, and spotlights are set on center stage. The man known as The X Factor 92 is on center stage in his seat. Across from his is the notorious mercenary known as Kazuya Mishima. The crowd cheers._

The X Factor: YES! We are finally back with another episode of _Who Wants to Be a Millionaire._

Kazuya: It's about damn time. What the hell were you doing, you wretched human?

The X: Go kill yourself. I have a life you know.

Kazuya: What life? You don't get none anyways.

The X: Go to hell! That was a low blow, you stupid jackass!

Kazuya: Let's play _Who Wants to be a Millionaire._

The X: Hey you son of a bitch, that's my…

_The lights go out and spotlight focuses on stage._

The X: Damn you! Anyways, for $16,000 who is the final boss of _Tekken 6_?:

Azazel

Jin Kazama

Kazuya Mishima

Devil

Kazuya: So easy, it's A, Azazel.

The X: Correct!

_Audience applause._

The X: For $32,000, What is the name of that god awful robot that Jin Kazama made that serves as the bonus fight in _Tekken 6?_

Devil Jin

Jack-7

NANCY

Angel

Kazuya: Do I look stupid to you, punk ass? It'sobviously C, because only my queer of a son would come up with a name so ridiculous.

The X: Correct. You got a point though. Who the fuck names a robot a menacing as that NANCY? What a pansy!

_The X and Kazuya start laughing their asses off._

Kazuya: aha…hahahaha…oh lord! What a fucking moron!

_Jun comes in and smacks Kazuya and The X with a frying pan._

Kazuya and The X: Ow! That hurt!

Jun: Serves you right.

Jin: Tell them mommy!

Jun: Here's a cookie son!

_Jun hands Jin a cookie, which the latter proceeds to devour._

The X (to Kazuya): And you call me a punk ass!

Kazuya: I know right?

_Jun pulls out a .38 handgun on the two._

Jun: What was that?

The X: Nothin'...hehe…don't kill me.

Jun: Like I thought.

_Jun exits the stage._

Kazuya: Glad that's over.

The X: How the hell can you put up with her?

Kazuya: The sex makes it worth while.

The X: You probably turn into Devil cause you can't get it up on your own.

Kazuya: Fuck you!

The X: You may like that, but I don't swing off that side of the fence know what I'm sayin'?

_Kazuya's eyes turn red, angered._

Kazuya (as Devil): Get on with the game or I'll snap you in half!

The X: Aiight, Aiight!

_The lights focus on center stage._

The X: For $64,000, Which of the following characters is the CEO of G Corporation in _Tekken 6_?

Son Goku

Jin Kazama

Bruce Irvin

Kazuya Mishima

_The timer starts counting down. 60…59…58…57_

Kazuya: Um…let's see…um…I really don't know this one.

The X: WHAT? You of all people should know this for God's sake!

Kazuya: Whatever, ask the pathetic humans!

The X: But you are…

Kazuya: Say it and I will kill you!

The X (rolling eyes): Ugh! Audience please help him out. On your voting pads pick an answer to the question on display! Vote now.

_The results come back as follows:_

_Son Goku (0%)_

_Jin Kazama (0%)_

_Bruce Irvin (0%)_

_Kazuya Mishima (100%)_

The X: It's obvious now ain't it? So…

Kazyua: Like I'm going to listen to the humans.

The X: But you are…

Kazuya: THAT'S IT!

_Kazuya shoots The X with eye lasers._

The X: AAAHHH! YOU SON OF A…

Kazuya: Get over it! I want to use a 50/50.

The X: For gods sake! Computer take away two wrong answers, leaving the correct answer and one wrong answer.

_Options B and C are eliminated._

The X: Well, no lifelines left. Choose! You got 15 seconds left…and counting.

Kazuya: A, final answer.

The X: Oh my God! Could you be any stupider? It's D you dumbass! YOU were the head of G Corporation and still are.

Kazuya: …Oh…shit.

The X: Now I see why Jin is so slow. How much fucking weed did you smoke last time?

Kazuya: Shit I don't know!

The X: Get off my stage. NOW!

_Kazuya transforms into Devil and flies away._

The X: Fucking idiot. Now let's get another contestant up here.

_The camera pans to six of the other contestants: Anna Williams, Nina Williams, Ogre, Bryan Fury, Bruce Irvin, and Baek Doo San._

Put these WWE Superstars in the order in which they were inducted into the Hall of Fame, starting with the earliest:

Stu Hart

Stone Cold Steve Austin

Eddie Guerrero

The Briscoe Brothers

The X: Time's up. Who got the fastest time?

Anna Williams: 7.0 seconds

Bruce Irvin 7.3 seconds

Ogre 7.4 seconds

Bryan Fury 8.0 seconds

Baek Doo San 8.8 seconds

Nina Williams 9.0 seconds

The X: Unfortunately, Anna Williams is the winner. Come on up! Here is the correct order for the answers:

C) Eddie Guerrero (2006)

D) Briscoe Brothers (2008)

B) Stone Cold Steve Austin (2009)

A) Stu Hart (2010)

_The end of game alarm sounds._

The X: We're out of time for today. Thank God!

Anna: Hey! No fair!

The X: Blame her!

_Camera turns to reveal Getemono, the executive producer, and fellow author._

Getemono: Yup!

The X: High five!

_The X moves his hand at the last minute._

The X: Fuck you!

_Getemono kicks him in the nuts._

The X (groaning): Can't you take a joke? Oh God!

Getemono: Haha! Take that jerk.

The X: Wait till the cameras stop rolling. Till next time, we out. Somebody get me some ice!

_Fade to black._

**Yup! I'm back by popular demand. Sorry to keep you all waiting. It's just that life is crazy. Damn. But, I'll try to post more often. Submit questions. R&R. Later!**


	8. Sex and Violence

**Disclaimer: Do not own Millionaire or Tekken.**

_Chapter 8: Sex and Violence_

The Millionaire tune in the background, the camera comes up to the stage, where two seats and computers occupy the area. The camera pans to the Millionaire where The X Factor and Anna Williams are sitting.

The X: We are back with the lovely Anna Williams here on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?". Welcome, inferior Williams sister whose beauty pales in comparison to her always superior sister, Nina. You are a pathetic excuse of an assassin, and you should kill yourself.

Anna: Hey that's not nice! I should kill you!

The X: You sister made me read it, and she wrote it. She got a job here as a producer. That and she said if I didn't read it, she'd cut my balls off.

Anna: That bitch!

The X: I know right?

Nina: It's true. Why do you think father loved me so much?

The X: Let's play "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

The lights go dark.

The X: For 100 dollars, What happened to Nina Williams when she did the movie scene in Anna's story in Tekken 5?

A. She blew up the tower.

B. Her costume started to fall

C. Jump off a cliff.

D. Killed Steve Fox

Anna: B, final answer.

The X: Correct! For 200 dollars, What was the name of Nina Williams' spin off game?

A. Death Before Dishonor

B. Nina Williams: The Beginnings

C. Death By Degrees

D. Tekken: The Nina Williams Story

Anna: Unfortunately, C. Why didn't I get my own spin off?

The X: In that order: Correct, and you didn't get a spin off because…

(The X is handed a card from Nina and reads aloud)

The X: "You are a filthy, nasty whore who has every known STD, and you have no friends."

Anna (pulls out a gun): You bitch! I'll kill you!

Anna starts shooting at Nina. Nina takes cover and pulls out a machine gun. Bullets are flying everywhere. The audience takes cover under their seats. The camera cuts off and a message is displayed:

_The show is experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by._

**20 minutes later…**

The X and Anna are back in their seats. The X is surprisingly unscathed, while Anna has a broken arm, cuts, and a black eye.

The X: You got fucked up by Nina! In all seriousness, why the hell was I turned on by that?

Nina: Because you are a pervert!

The X: Am not!

Nina: Then why do you have all of this porn on your laptop?

Nina displays the contents on the Jumbo-Tron.

The X: What the fuck are you doing with my computer? And the audience or readers do not need to see that! Besides your sister is addicted to porn!

Anna (as she is watching it on her iPhone 4 and touching herself): Am not!

Nina: Somehow, I'm less than surprised.

The men in the audience hoot and holler as well as the male contestants Lee, Lei, and Bruce as they watch Anna. Bryan just looks on disgust. Lei looks at Bryan.

Lei: What are you gay?

Bryan: No you one-inch-dick-having-ass faggot! I'm a fucking cyborg! I'm not supposed to feel that way.

The X: All dudes watch it anyway. Hell, even Wang watches it, as old as he is!

Wang is watching porn on his Sprint Evo and touching himself as well (A/N: Sorry about the unintentional mental image there and ahead), his shame in clear view. The X is retching, as are the audience, Nina, and the contestants.

The X: Goddamn it Wang! Cover up your wrinkly balls! My god I think I'm gonna be sick!

Wang: I have not many years left. Let me live a little.

The X: You're right, because you got about five seconds to get out of here or I will slit your throat and watch the dust come out!

Wang: Fine, I'll put it away. I suffer from ED anyway.

Wang puts his phone (and his shame away).

The X: I didn't need to know that! Dammit! I hate my fucking job!

Anna: So that's why he couldn't get it up!

The X: What the fuck? I didn't need to know that either!

The X grabs a bucket and vomits.

Nina (retching): My god! That bitch is sick! She will fuck anything that walks!

Meanwhile, Getemono is laughing her ass off, as she positions the camera.

Getemono: I can't wait until this goes live.

Bryan: We are live, harpy!

Getemono: I meant internationally!

Bryan: Accepted. For that I won't kill you…yet!

The X (to Anna): I will give you 2000 dollars if you leave now and not come back!

Anna (takes check): Fine.

Anna pulls a piece a paper from her chest and writes her phone number down. She gives it to The X.

Anna (giggles): Call me.

She leaves the stage.

The X: Oy vey! God kill me! Let's get on with the fastest finger question. Put these Tekken fighters in order by which game they debuted in, starting with the earliest game.

A. Paul Phoenix

B. Armor King II

C. Jin Kazama

D. Alisa Boskonovitch

The X: Time's up let's see the answers in the correct order:

A. Paul Phoenix (Tekken)

C. Jin Kazama (Tekken 3)

B. Armor King II (Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection)

D. Alisa Boskonovitch (Tekken 6)

The X: Who got it in fastest time?

Bryan Fury: 4.5 seconds

Lei Wulong: 4.7 seconds

Bruce Irvin 4.9 seconds

Christie Montiero: 5.2 seconds

Wang Jinrei: 5.7 seconds

Julia Chang: 6.0 seconds

The X: Bryan you won. Come on up.

Bryan takes his seat.

The X: For those of you who don't know Bryan Fury well, Bryan was…

Getemono (off screen): Shut up! Get to the questions! We have limited time, you ass!

The X: Aiight! Aiight! Let's get on with the questions. Tell us something about yourself, Bryan.

Bryan: I hate you!

The X: Fair enough. I'm sure you know the rules. You have to answer each question correctly to get to the next level; there are two milestones, at questions five, and ten. After you pass a milestone, if you get a question wrong, you lose all of your current money, and get what money is available at the milestone question. 15 questions lead to the million dollars.

Bryan: I know the three lifelines, I GET IT! I've watched this show!

The X: Okay, let's get started!

The lights go dark.

The X: For 100 dollars, which of the following has appeared in one canonical game of Tekken?

A. Lei Wulong

B. Jun Kazama

C. Kazuya Mishima

D. Yoshimitsu

Bryan: It's B, that prissy Jun has only been in one game besides TTT.

The X: Correct! For 200, who does Bryan Fury (you) share his fighting style, Kickboxing with?

A. Lili

B. Asuka Kazama

C. Lee Chaolan

D. Bruce Irvin

The clock starts ticking. _29…28…27…26…_

Bryan: Hey, dumbass, I don't share my style with anyone! HE STOLE MINE!

The X: He was in Tekken 2, you weren't (hint, hint). So you stole his!

Bryan: I stand by what I said. I'm cooler and have more fans, so he stole mine.

The X: What kind of fucking logic is that?

Bryan (holds shotgun to The X): Don't sass me faggot!

The X: Give me your goddamn answer!

Bryan: It's C, final!

The X: Well you must be retarded because it's D, Bruce Irvin. He's a contestant for God's sake!

The X points to Bruce.

The X: You cyborgs must not have brains.

Bryan looked at The X with pure anger. Until The X figure out what he had said to Bryan, he just sat there and kept laughing. Then he looked at Bryan.

Bryan jumped up, punching the table, almost making it break.

Getemono and Nina: DAMN!

Bryan grabbed the chair he was on, pulling it up, he swung it towards The X's face, smashing it into the ground. Bryan smacked him, over, and over, and over, breaking The X's bones in his ribs and his arms, but Bryan was going to let him live, to suffer.

The X screamed out in pain, with every single blow.

The X: Shit! That doesn't bend that way dammit!

The audience sat there laughing, pointing. The security (Devil Jin and Devil Kazuya) stood by, watching the fight, drinking punch and doughnuts.

Devil Jin: Hehe, hey look. Someone is fighting someone else in the game room.

Devil Kazuya: Poor fuck, that's Bryan Fury.

Minutes passed, The X was wounded badly. He lay in a large puddle of blood over the glass floors, barley able to stand up.

Getemono: X, we can't afford an ambulance! Get up and finish the show!

The X crawls into his seat, barely able to speak. The end of game sound plays.

The X: Th—th—that's all…the…time…w-w-we have today. Ugh!

The X passes out.

Getemono: Join us next time on "Who Wants To Be A millionaire?".

**End Chapter**


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